Managing your emotions!
Emmanuel Oghenekaro Eyafimoni
As we live daily and pursue our dreams, we are always involved in one form of relationship or the other. It could be marital, business, friendship or otherwise.
Of course, you know that building sustainable relationship involves a lot of investment especially emotions and time.
By virtue of what and how much we invest in those relationships, we do expect something in return even when we seem not to be aware or conscious of it. Deep within our inner being, it is there.
We do expect to be treated with respect, dignity, love, and understanding. We expect to be listened to, understood and sometimes, obeyed and submitted to. At times, we expect to have our way on issues when there are conflicts of opinions and interests.
Indeed, every human being has self-pride. In lieu of this, we expect to be honored and celebrated when and where it matters. We do desire some sincere compliments and appreciation whenever we make a good point. At other times, we desire unreserved apologies from people who wronged us.
When these expectations are not met satisfactorily and consistently, it gets to us and we become emotionally disturbed depending on the sensitivity of what really transpired. We may become reactive in different ways depending on our individual levels of emotional intelligence and maturity.
In reaction to peoples actions that hurt us, we may either attack in range, confront the person in question in a win/win or win/lose paradigm or simply withdraw and bury the hurting feelings inside us. It can become very challenging when you are dealing with somebody that is self-defensive, self-centered, a “Mr. Right”. This breeds a lot of hurting emotions that are buried within. We may begin to live with unexpressed emotions for as long as the relationship is still on only to be consoled by some other things you are probably gaining or would gain if you could just bear and cope with the pains.
True, unexpressed feelings never die, they are only buried alive inside you and often resurrect in more uglier ways later on.
DANGERS OF LIVING WITH HURTING EMOTIONS
1- Health dangers: Indeed, carrying the cemetery of buried emotions could adversely interfere with your health. It can cause depression which is a highly deleterious psychomedical condition. Persistent depression could interfere with your general well being. People struggling with
chronic depression are often prone to suicide attempts.
2- Loss of Motivation: When you are helplessly exposed to hurting circumstances, the bitterness of heart may become inevitable. Discouragement follows and may culminate in depression. Motivation begins to deplete until totally lost.
3- Effect on Peace: Because of anger and bitterness of heart that comes from carrying hurting feelings which are buried within, joy and happiness deplete and hostility sets in. Within a short while, your inner peace is lost. Disproportionate anger, overreaction to even the slightest provocations and cynicism begin to manifest. If the situation is not salvaged quickly, it may begin to interfere with the peace in your relationship with people.
4- Effects on Personal creativity and productivity: When you are angry, embittered and depressed, you begin to lose much of mental coordination. You find it difficult to associate things logically. Your sense of creativity and productivity become impaired as a result.
HOW TO HANDLE HURTING SITUATIONS
If you get hurt consistently in any kind of relationship you are into despite doing everything to avoid the hurt all to no avail, then either of the following may be helpful:
1- Weaken the bond and relate with the person as much as it is emotionally convenient for you
2- If option 1 didn’t help, then you may break the relationship completely and save yourself those hurts that don’t stop coming.
3- If it is something you cannot let go because of something you could gain from it, then make up your mind to endure the pain and take the person for who he is. But be very sure the benefits outweigh the costs
No matter what and who is involved, your emotions should be too valuable to be expended in unworthy relationships. Know who and what worth your emotions.
However, if you are constantly being hurt in a relationship you are into, it is either you are yet to grow emotionally or you are hooked up with the wrong person.
Until you understand the value of your emotions and invest them more wisely and productively, you remain on the losing side. You become disadvantaged when you can’t control your mind. Remember, no one can hurt you without your permission.
CONTROL YOUR MIND!
I remain your own,Emmanuel Oghenekaro Eyafimoni